


All We've Lost, All We've Found

by xxx_xxx_xxxxx (orphan_account)



Series: You're My Alpha [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ageless Steve Rogers, Ageless Tony Stark, Alpha Bruce Banner, Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Clint Barton, Alpha James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Alpha Sam Wilson, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha Thor (Marvel), Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Canon-Typical Violence, Flashbacks, Howard Stark's So-So Parenting, Howard's Nickname For Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, M/M, Omega Loki (Marvel), Omega Natasha Romanov, Omega Pepper Potts, Omega T'Challa (Marvel), Omega Tony Stark, Panic Attacks, Past Domestic Violence, Past Natasha Romanov/Original Male Character, Past Tony Stark/Original Male Character, Steve Doesn't Age Past 30, Then Not So Canon-Typical Violence, Tony Doesn't Age Past 27, Tony Stark Has Nightmares, Tony Stark Has Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Tony Stark Has Self-Esteem Issues, Tony's Very Well Founded Fear Of Doctors
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-15 02:37:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15403107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/xxx_xxx_xxxxx
Summary: Day 7Tony: Someone's h-h-hurting me...i-it hurts here...Captain...please...Dad said you were a type of savior. Please find me.Day 16Tony: Dad's not allowed to fund here so he can't keep tabs on me...th-they want to ki-kill us...kill the Stark legacy...Day 24Tony: Every...everything hurts so much...I can't pretend anymore...I'm too weak...I'm scared...they know they broke me...Day 30Tony: You're here for me...you're here for me...thank you...orthe one where Steve has known Tony for years, and after Tony's suffered losing a friend, and he won't lose himself againORthe one where your alpha or omega's name is written across the inside of your wrist until the day you meet.





	All We've Lost, All We've Found

_Day 1_

_Steve: Mr. Stark, he's been gone for much longer than normal. Someone needs to check in with him._

_Howard: He's just being a brat, Rogers. Let it go._

_Steve:...can I at least--_

_Howard: Rogers, he's my son. I think I know what's best._

_Steve: Fine, Howard...but, seeing as you don't even remember that you forgot to note that your son's seventh birthday was yesterday, I highly doubt you know what's best._

**Steve**

I gently kissed Tony's forehead as I laid him into bed. Ever since his thirty-first birthday, he hasn't aged a bit. He always says that he's thankful that he'll never get "old people wrinkles", but, in all honesty, I believe he truly despises his father for the science experiment he allowed to happen to him. But, lately, Tony's body has been weakened. He's having trouble breathing, trouble seeing, trouble moving. I'm the only one who knows, though--well, me, Bucky and Bruce. Tony's been telling everyone that he has been working in the lab on an intensive project, but he's just been hiding out on my floor for the last month and a half. 

_Tony whimpered softly as his knees locked. "St-St-Steve!" he cried out as he began falling to the floor. If it hadn't been for my enhanced instincts, I would have just missed him. I had just walked into the lab when Tony had started to fall over. I caught his back, laying him on the floor gently. "Hard to breathe...hard to breathe...hard to breathe," he wheezed out, curling into me. My omega... **Omega...hurt. Scent fearful. Scared. Hurt. Must calm Omega. Must help. Love Omega. Omega air. Air. Find air....**_

I don't remember what I did because I went feral, but Bucky somehow found out about it during my feral-ness. He promised to never tell about whatever he saw. He jumped when he saw me, so I assume there was some threatening done of some sort. (I've often been told I'm deadly when I'm feral.)  _  
_

I left Tony to go down to Bruce's lab because ever since he found out, he's been trying to figure out a cure. Tony's given him multiple samples of his blood. Every year, Tony had gotten a blood sampling on his birthday--Howard's form of a birthday present.

_"Dad, no! No, please! They hurt me! No!" Tony cried out, hugging onto Howard's waist.  
_ _"Babba, they're only checking your blood. They're doing what's good for you," Howard whispered gently in Tony's ear.  
_ _"No! Mr. Steve!" Tony left Howard's side running to me. I picked him up, cradling him lovingly. I purred softly to him, calming him. His fearful scent was strong of ice water and blood. "Papi, no me hagas ir! Papi, por favor no me hagas ir!"* Tony cried out as I rocked him. Howard's feral side was battling with his consciousness. I remembered that Tony was a little omega, still ferociously under the care of his father. Howard managed a soft, "Put my son down...like now...or I might really have to hurt you..." Tony clung to me even as I tried to resist his hold. He was only five. I understood Howard's concern, but at the same time, Tony was terrified of the doctors--how could I possibly ignore a frantic child, such as he, who blatantly told me, "Papi, they touch me bad. They make me hurt. Dad doesn't understand."_

Tony hadn't stopped that ritual when he left home. He took the samples with him. He said that Howard didn't understand what was going on. It was a bittersweet way to remember his father instead of the bruises he would litter down his back.

"Brucie, how's that work coming along?" I asked, bringing him a sandwich. Ever since he found out about it, he's been intensively working on researching, experimenting and keeping Natasha away. She had this highly admirable knack for knowing when something was going to go down or was presently going down. However, in this situation, it was a bother and nuisance that constantly kept poor Brucie on his toes. Luckily, Thor has reined her in many times due to his respect for others' privacy (something Natasha rarely had). "All of these calculations are showing that chorcira** should mix with his blood well, and, in its compatibility, heal him. Of course, you can't go on paperwork alone. I tested our samples of chorcira with the samples of Tony's blood, and I got different reactions. Tony's blood samples have some...some odd changes between each sample, and I'll have to figure that out before I find the cure," Bruce explained.

"Are you saying Tony's blood is different in each sample?" I asked in utter disbelief. Bruce nodded. "From ages 0 to 10, it's pure. Then it's tainted, and whatever it is has gotten worse with each year that goes by. There's more of it now, and it's mutating," Bruce explained, seeming a little less than frustrated. I opened my mouth to say something, but Bucky ran in, holding a convulsing Tony Stark. "Floor. Now," I ordered as my voice cracked with emotion. It hurt to see Tony so broken and pained. I knew it was anxiety though when I started gently speaking to him. His muscles started to relax, and his body curled in on itself, facing my way. "Tony, baby, open your eyes," I coaxed gently, picking him up and murmuring soft words of relaxation in his ear. Tony's eyes blinked open slowly to see three very caring faces.

* * *

**Tony**

I woke to absolute stillness. Nothing. No one. No light, no distinctive sounds, no scents nor tastes. Just nothing. Nothing is a scary place. Darkness is when the worst things happen--I've been raped, tortured, beaten, interrogated, harassed, cornered, abused, used, threatened...so many times in the dark. No one knows, except me and the person who did it. No one cares...no one  _would_ care. I'm Tony Stark, Iron Man, genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. I should be able to take care of myself, except I can't.

I can't come home from a mission and tell Steve that I was sexually attacked when I was in the custody of HYDRA agents. I can't stop boxing with Natasha to tell her that I was beaten brutally by my father as a child, and that's why I panic when she gets too rough. I can't work on Clint's new bows and tell him the reason why I flinch at his arrows being used inside the house is because the same "cool" (read: copied) design for his arrows he saw in my "work plans" (read: decades old, cancelled police report) was actually the design on a dagger used to torture me in a Spaniard prison, during one of my "vacations" (read: kidnappings) as a teenager, I can't tell Bucky to stop staring at me--it's in his modified nature!--because that's the way my dad used to stare at me before he pulled down my pants. I can't tell Bruce how thankful I am that he keeps his temper in check because my father used to nearly murder me for waking up so early to walk to school. I can't tell Vision how much I hate JARVIS being twisted into him because JARVIS was my only tie to a good memory of home, a good memory of relaxing in father-like arms...

I can't tell Steve how much I hate sex because of the many rape encounters I've had.

Suddenly my memories were all too real, and Howard was holding me again.

_**"Such a good little b***h. So quiet. You deserve a reward," Howard held fifteen-year-old me in his arms again as I cried tears and held his semen in my mouth, trying not to gag or vomit. I nodded slowly. "What do you want? A toy train...mm, a cock toy?" he asked gently.** I was a sucker for moments like this when I felt like Dad really loved me, even through all the abuse he put my body through. **I tried speaking with the semen in my mouth, but I almost ended up vomiting. "Swallow it, baby...swallow it," he gently coaxed me.** It was just so easy to get the taste out of my mouth...to swallow. **Fresh tears ran down my face as I sobbed softly. "Shh, shh, baby. This is what you're good for. Sex. You're a nice little twink, little one. Aren't you?" he'd ask so softly that I would nod along to it.** He made me feel like I was loved...like someone really cared...someone who wouldn't leave me. **"D-D-Daddy?" I squeaked softly.** I just want to be left alone. **He smiled softly, gently placing hickeys on my neck.** Please, just don't ever touch me again... **"A ch-chess b-b-board would be nice..." I whimpered out. He squeezed my hips. "Alright. I'll get you a fancy new chess--" he started. I hiccuped as my sobs got softer. "I mean, the nice normal ones, Da-Daddy, please?" I asked softly. He nodded against my neck. "So pretty..." he cooed.**_

I never got to touch that chess board.

**_"Look at these grades, you c**t. Why the f**k should I get you anything?" Howard snarled._**  
_**"Please, p-p-please, Daddy..." I begged.** I should've expected his boot to go upside my head. **"You are a failure...sex...that's all you'll ever be good for," he growled, kicking me in the stomach with each pause. He cracked the chess board in half, destroying my fleeting dreams. I mumbled something. He snatched me up by my hair. "What'd you say, you little s**t?" he barked. I flinched at the force of it. "I'm sorry..." I whimpered. His fists came raining down on me in rage.**_

A Stark man never apologizes...for anything.

A Stark man never apologizes for anything.

Never apologize for anything.

Never. Apologize.

For. Any...any...any...

-~-

When I came to, Steve was cradling me, singing a soft tune in my ear with near-unnoticeable tears in his eyes. "St-St-Steve?" they had brought me to Bruce's lab? Steve nodded gently. "Yep, baby...just breathe..." his soft strong voice soothed me. But I was sweating? "Calm down, baby...we'll talk when you're better," Steve cooed. I nodded, wincing as my stiff neck caused me to feel a hot, burning pain when I moved.

-

I was in a bright room--my bedroom. "St-St-Steve?" I hoarsely called. His distress scent was shockingly strong. I forced my brittle bones to sit up to see Steve huddled in the corner, crying his eyes out. "Steve?" I forced my voice to be as gentle as controllable-ly possible. Steve turned to me. "Oh, you're awake...I'm sorry," he slid a bright Captain America smile on his face. Too bright for my tastes. "How's Bruce doing?" I asked. Steve shook his head. I felt a frown etch its way onto my face. "S**t," I cursed for the first time in a while. 

"Language," Steve teased. I rolled my eyes, lovingly beckoning him before placing a cliche kiss on his cheek. Bucky entered the room with a breakfast tray. "Brought you somethin', pal," he glanced to me. I smiled softly at him. "Thank...thank you, Buck...Bucky..." I gasped for air softly. Bucky handed Steve the tray and went into the closet for my oxygen tank. I was wheezing for air when they were finally able to put the mask on my face. "Th-th-thanks..." I managed. Steve's eyes were watery.  _Not again..._

"St-Steve..." I breathed out. Steve shook his head. He gripped his chest, and I felt a cold chill run through my body. He dropped to the floor, sobs shaking his body. "My heart hurts, Tony! It's not fair! Why you!?" he screamed through his sobs. I had an easy answer to that. "Because my dad was Howard Stark, and he was obsessed with enhancements that would help the world. No matter what the cost," I went into a coughing fit, almost throwing up, "The government district attorney banned him from using children as experimental guinea pigs. They said nothing about his adolescent son."

Steve shook his head. "Stop it," his voice was gravely serious. I growled in my throat.

"No,  _you_ stop it.  _You_ stop pretending like you didn't know there was something wrong with Howard. Stop it. You tried to protect me from him. You didn't know the full effects of a night with Howard Stark. You weren't exactly living in our homes...except in my bedroom walls. _You_ have to know  _now_ because, if I die, you'll have to handle everything. Well you, Natasha, Bucky, Bruce, Clint, Vision, Wanda, Sam and literally all of our mutual friends that we care about..." I took a moment to breathe from the oxygen mask while Bucky stood there awkwardly comforting Steve. Steve's eyes were dark. "We never pushed it before...never said to talk it out, Steve. Now I owe you that...owe you..." I was feeling so tired...so very tired.

-

When I woke again, Steve was laying in bed next to me. He was on his phone.

"No...Tony doesn't think you know yet...how could you have found out so quickly...don't you dare point the finger at me...Ro-Romanov...Natasha, no...he'll kill me...I didn't even mean to say all that..." Steve was on the phone with Natasha. I wasn't in the mood for letting all of my secret issues be dispersed around the compound; on the other hand, it didn't have to be like that, and Natasha was trustworthy. "Steve," I spoke with some finality. Steve froze, looking over at me. "Yes?" he answered.

"I wanna tell you about Howard," I said slowly, "Leave Nat on the phone. She should hear this too." Steve swallowed, turning the phone onto speakerphone and facing me. "I'm ready when you are," he sighed, not meeting my eyes. I bit my lip, unsure of how to start this difficult conversation.

"Tell me what you know about Howard."

* * *

**Steve**

"Howard was always trying to outlast the next company. He was always trying to be the better guy. If the CEO of AngloEver--old lighting designer--stepped up and gave forty million to charity, Howard would step up and give four hundred million. He had this external issue of always trying to outrun, outwork, outshine the next guy. He never gave much thought to his personal life. He never gave much thought to you. He thought, 'Hey, he's a kid. If he disappears, he's only playing hide-and-seek.'. Howard was a master at making his fantasy a reality--whether in truth or figurative..."

_"...and I will be sure that every toy included in the package is all age friendly. From toddlers to teens, these packages will satisfy all. Discretion advised." Howard's voice played over the television set. I stared at the little Stark that was nursing a black eye and flaunting the middle finger at his father on the screen. I chuckled. I couldn't help it. Howard deserved it. He was only doing this to outdo the man who donated 100,000 beds to an adoption center. So Howard donated 500, 786 toy packages to an orphanage. It was true, military-grade genius Howard._

_"How much you wanna bet Dad'll make me pick up my own toys and piece together something to show off my genius while wearing makeup to cover the scars he's been giving me?" Tony chuckled, The nine-year-old grinned sarcastically. I sighed softly. "Chances are 20 to 10," Tony added. He knew I was upset about him lying to me about how he got that black eye, but I suspected he knew I could deduct the truth from the way he flinched away from Howard; I suspected Howard threatened to maim him if he told me anymore than the s**t he's already told me._

"Howard was never the perfect father...he never really was cut out for the job. A-and when Maria died...well, frankly, Howard became even worse. There were the bruises and the nonchalance and the carelessness. He never cared when you were kidnapped. He never cared if you ran away..."

**Author's Note:**

> *'Papi, no me hagas ir! Papi, por favor no me hagas ir!' means 'Daddy, do not make me go! Daddy, please do not make me go!'  
> **Chorcira is said Gorghira. Chorcira is an alien element from one of Saturn's uninhabitable moons.


End file.
